The Past. The Present. 

As the saying goes, “What happened in the past, remains in the past. Focus on the present.”

But what if the past haunts you and the present causes you to be conflicted with yourself on your decisions and how will it affect others?
My mind is a complete mess of different reactions as if I’m crazy.
I feel dazed as my brain tells me to think, to type.
Yet it’s resisting the memory from appearing in my mind.
Unhappy memories.

Many would’ve thought I’m talking about relationship with a guy but I’ve never had one so that’s not it.
It’s about me.
My past.
My actions.

I’ve lost many friends.
Many I no longer talk to.
I feel like I’m being left hanging.
I feel like I’m not being appreciated as a person with feelings and emotions.
I am being taken for granted.

What do people know about me?
About what happened.
Why it happened.

And it just makes me sound like I don’t know myself.
Which I don’t.

So what do I do now?
Say hello to used-to-be friends?
Say that I’m sorry for being immature?
And how will that help?
Will we become friends again?

Maybe.

One day.
I’ll have the courage to do it.
Confrontation.

I’ve done it once.
It was scary.
I was shaking.

Reasons why I can’t take the truth serum.

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