Back for another round

It’s back.

What was thought to be hidden and tucked away is back. I’m starting to search for a safe haven again. Being home and feeling unproductive. Not wanting to do things that I should be doing. Feeling bored and tired and lose of appetite. I just want to stay at home all day and snuggle in my blanket and wait for the day to pass. Each day when I’m up, it means another day alive. And yet why is it that sometimes I just everything to end.

A friend of mine left a group chat and hardly anyone bothered to ask why. All one person said was “people move on I guess”. Excuse me but moved on from??? Even when it’s not targeted to me, I felt hurt. So that’ll be how it’ll be like when one day I leave the chat or even leave the world. Just ignored and disappeared from everyone else’s lives.

It’s ironic how people claim to want confrontation and want attention when they ‘give’ others in return but they are the ones not giving anything. Also the ones denying any confrontation and claim that “you are being too straightforward”. Like bitch, you want confrontation but you’re too afraid to accept the truth. What’s the point of being honest to you when you’re just gonna shoo it away and start hating on me for being honest. Contradicting much.

You’ll never know when someone is actually sad and not feeling okay. Cause that person will just smile or pretend everything is okay. Once parted, she’ll just go into the depressed state and eagerly wish to be home so that she can hide in her room and do nothing. Don’t blame her for not seeking help. She asked for help with her peers and no one else helped. Not a single hand to pick her up from the bottom of the pit. She sees someone and tells the person to help. The person looks at her and walks away. That’s how life is like.

So why is it that people are surprised that a certain someone is depressed and decided to commit suicide? Never assume that one is always happy. We all have our sad times. Some are worse than others but it can never be defined. Rather, some just take things worse than others.

Instead of waiting for someone to ask for help, observe and you’ll notice the hints. Approach them instead of waiting for them to approach you. Ask what’s wrong and get them talking. You’ll never know how much that’ll help someone.

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