{White Void}

Wide awake.

It’s a delusion.

Pretty. Peaceful. Pure.
And yet, dark.
Frightening. Lonely.

A room with no corners.
A room with no one else.
A room of nothing.

A completely white void.


Music blasting
Striking lights
Figures moving
Sweaty bodies

Everything feels unreal
As if I’m in a dream
Or maybe I am.


Heart beating fast


{Different Me}

Everyday I look into the mirror
Same routine
Makeup all over the dresser
Beautiful and elegant outfits

I look beautiful.

I walk in confidence and grace.
Lovely smile on my face.

Everyone who knows me says,
“She’s a young & beautiful girl. Friendly and kind. Sweet little thing.”

But when asked about my interests, no one knew.

“She looks like the kind that would love cute things. Preferably pink. Mainly girly stuff I assume.”

No one knew the truth.
The truth behind the smile.
The truth about me.

Pain. Lonely. Fear. Anger. 

Everyday I put up a different ‘me’.
A ‘me’ that everybody loves.
A ‘me’ that nobody knows.

Sometimes you just get so tired, not physically but mentally. You start to think about life again. As a whole. You worry about things that you can’t even help or do anything to prevent the world from. Friends don’t reply you, don’t initiate a conversation.

Everyone has moved on with their life. You’re all by yourself now. Wondering what’s there for your future. Would there even be a significant other? What will my life be like when I’m older? Fear.

And then here you are. Not doing anything productive. Wanting to cry but there’s nothing to cry about. You’re scared of breaking down and feeling weak. But overall, you know that you’re alone in this. Just one action can make your day better – which you know it’ll never happen. You’ve experienced many similar days and yet no one’s there to help.

Cry. Scream. Attention. No one. Alone. Survive.

Give me a sign and guide me along the way.

One Day Maybe

Dreams become reality.

No more fantasizing.

Happiness filled in the air.

All I’m waiting for is this day. When will it come? I’ll never know. Once again, questions aren’t answered. 

Pity? Oh don’t pity me. That day may or may not come, I’m still alive. Even if the day does come soon, I might still be suffering from life. 

Who knows what the future might bring us. Joy. Hatred. Sadness. 

All I need is a sign. A sign to determine the future. My future. The one I desire.

It was once a pretty world.
There were a few problems but we managed to get through it.
Smiles and company.
Everyday was planned, and maybe some were just lazy days.
But all was well.

Until everything started crashing down

Tears. Ache. Lonely

What do I do now?


It’s cold and once again I’m alone.
Looking down from the balcony, I felt numb.
Tears and soulless eyes.




“Good bye.”

I jumped.